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Apparently I have to be sensible, before I can be stupid, so...

Health & Safety Disclaimer : You try this at your own risk, nuthin' to do with me, guv. I do not encourage anyone to drink to excess. Not to be attempted by anyone under the legal age of intoxication (in which ever country you are). Make sure you have a designated-driver in attendance, or at least someone who can sober you up / get you to bed / pass you the water, aspirin & bowl / have an EMT on speed dial, if necessary.

Sensible part over.

I've already posted this in Tanous' LJ as a comment, but since there are so many fellow members of MMRU (Merlin-Masochists-R-Us) out there, I thought I'd post here for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. Feel free to send amendments / updates, as we work our way through the last dying breaths of the show. If you're already an MMRU member, you know this is based heavily on the premis that Shine are on a mission to piss off as many of us as possible, through over-Arwenisation and M&A character emasculation. I make no apologies :-P

Since we don't have a Welcome Pack readily available for the MMRU members (though Tanous outlined some great ideas), here's something you can try at home. Possibly better to play in a group, but can work alone (just make sure you've got someone to check on you when if you keel over!). Grab a tipple of your choice, and let's go...

(in tentative order of increasing unlikelihood?)

1. The final shot of the final episode involves a modern setting (take 1 swig, if you believe the spoilers / as many shots as you think you can manage, if you think there's just no way this is gonna happen)
2. Magic-Reveal Avoidance Mechanisms (1 shot for each instance, but can be 2 shots for the more outrageous ones)
3. Kick-him-while he's down comments, Arthur to Merlin (1 shot each time, easy)
4. Morgana catches Merlin by surprise (1 shot each time - it's still just too easy)
5. Colin puts on the aged makeup for inappropriate overly-comedic moment in the middle of dramatic scene, even if he does it so well, bless him (2 shots, 'cos they running out of time to use this)
6. Arthur-emasculation moments (1 shot - it's happening too often for them to NOT milk it like the cow it is)
7. Knights' OOC behaviour - Gwaine I'm looking at you! (1 shot each time, but increasing instances, so go easy on it)
8. Over reliance on Colin's acting ability to save a scene (2 shots - they're running out of time to use this)
9. Over reliance on Bradley's acting ability to save a scene - (3 shots - higher rating 'cos less frequent than CM)
10. Arwen moment that's not fake (several shots - your decision on how rare, or real, you think this occurrence is)
11. Merlin is effective / catches Morgana by surprise (at least 3 shots)
12. Merlin is recognised for all he's done & sacrificed, in a non-magical sense (1/4 bottle - possible, but unlikely to happen)
13. Merlin reveals his magic to universal acceptance (1/2 bottle - seriously, you think this is going to happen?? Are we watching the same show?)
14. Arthur survives Camlann (chug the lot - your liver is pretty damn safe, it's not going to happen)

[EDIT : having read many cast interviews (and insightful comments dissecting every word said), in the last few days, I might have to rethink the actuarial rating on this last item for the sake of all our livers. Then again, I've been trying out my newly acquired Rose-Tinted Glasses - see below for further details on this special MMRU introductory offer - so my judgement probably stinks right now.]

Not that I condone binge-drinking you understand, but I think this is petty much guaranteed to get you pissed-as-an-overblown-lizard-with-wings in under 10 mins. Anyone want to add items, be my guest in the comments below, and I'll update as we go along.

I may have to try this for real - I think it might actually help me get through then next 4 x 45mins. Unfortunately the hangover will have a seriously negative effect on my job (my working week starts Sunday). Getting on the plane 6 hours after the penultimate episode might be a little interesting too, but I fly better on alcohol, so I'm just starting a little earlier than planned ;-)

MMRU membership introductory offer - we are offering a set of specially designed Rose-Tinted-Glasses to all our new members (complete with 'A&G4EVA' artfully inscribed in gold on the edge of each lens), to help us all get with the 'Arwen' brain-washing, um I mean story arc, and hurt a little less. Unfortunately, much like the overdue magic-reveal, it's proving hard to find a reliable supplier of these pesky glasses, so this offer is now closed. For all those already in receipt of the RTG's, we will be sending an extra gift - a bag of salt to balance the saccharine overdose side-effect that will undoubtedly be felt. And to get you used to the bad taste you're going to have in your mouth come the end of the final episode.

Have at it folks...

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
sforthewicked
5th Dec, 2012 19:49 (UTC)
Yep. Definitely count me in on this. Just for the finale, mind you. I really can't hold my liquer and I'd rather spare my liver the trouble of 4 nights of debauchery... :P

Plus, it's the perfect time to get pissed, for me at least. I'm not driving anywhere, and next day I'll only be required to open my presents and smile for the camera for a few minutes! No need for actual brain function, so... Bottle of Absolut, here I come!

Edited at 2012-12-05 19:51 (UTC)
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )